I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she woke up with a sticky ear
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
