We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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