thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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