She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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