If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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