My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
