woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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