Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
