I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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