belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My friends, they love my intelligence
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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