direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you have to choose: penises or morals?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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