By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
