big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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