The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Randomize
