Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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