We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
