dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
