it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize