I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
