I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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