I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
