We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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