I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
