therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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