i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
