I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
