READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
