I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
