it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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