it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
