you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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