I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
