He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
