How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He has the fingertips of a God
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
