i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
