I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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