I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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