i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
