this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
