Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize