If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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