i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
