I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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