You're completely useless in the revolution.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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