my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize