Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
