Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
