Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
