so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
