I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
