I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
