can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
