I think my vagina is haunted
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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