There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize