Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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