Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
