recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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