i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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