All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
