I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
