fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This is my gift to your gina
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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